Afraid
by simplyjazzie09
Summary: I've wanted this for so long and now that I have it, I'm afraid." mpreg, slash.


**Hey everyone. Thank you to everyone who still reads my fics! Especially those who comment. I'm sorry I don't always respond; I really need to get better at that. Anyway, the semester is winding down and I began to get that itch to write again and this is what came out. It's in the same verse as A Good Man, meaning Danny Reid-Morgan is here. **

**_Important A/N:_ I just wanted to let you guys know that I will probably never explain why mpreg is happening. I prefer to just think of it as naturally-occurring. However, if I do one day write a fic in which I do give an explanation, try not to hold it against me, lol. Love you guys, please enjoy!**

**Afraid.**

Derek lay back on the blanket, the soft grass beneath providing extra cushion. He allowed his eyes to drift closed, confident that Spencer was beside him keeping a careful eye on Daniel and Clooney while they played catch. He was just drifting off when Spencer broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between them disrupted only by Danny's laughter, Clooney's playful barks, and the dancing acoustics that accompany any park.

"How would you feel about another child right now?"

Derek frowned, the question catching him off guard. "It's been a while since I thought about it."

"Well, think about it," Spencer prompted.

He shrugged. "I don't know. It's been six years since we've dealt with a newborn. It's hard to imagine us starting over again."

Spencer was silent for a while and Derek figured he had let the topic drop. It had been over a year since they'd discussed having another baby. At the time they had come to a mutual agreement to stop trying. The years of stress and disappointment had placed a huge strain on their marriage and things had improved greatly since they had taken a step back.

Derek took a quick peek at Danny just to make sure he was okay and was close to dosing when Spencer spoke again. "Well, what if you didn't have a choice?"

That caught Derek's attention and he opened his eyes to watch the younger man. "You trying to tell me something, Pretty Boy?"

Spencer sat with his eyes glued to their son, nervously biting his lip. He glanced down at Derek. "I'm not sure."

It was then that Derek noticed the tears in his hazel eyes. Sitting up, he grabbed Spencer's hand. "Hey, baby. What's wrong? Talk to me."

"I haven't been feeling well for the past month or so. At first I just wrote it off as not enough rest but when it didn't go away, I began to wonder."

"Spence, why didn't you tell me? I didn't even know you were sick." Derek's deep frown was more from concern than anything else.

Spencer swallowed thickly. "I don't know anything for certain, yet. I've been too afraid to take a test or see a doctor because of all the times I thought I was sure but…" He trailed off and wiped furiously at the tears crawling down his cheeks.

"Hey, first we need to know for sure. "Whatever the outcome, we'll get through it together, but we have to know."

Spencer nodded but was saved from having to respond by Danny and Clooney bounding over to them. And if the boy noticed that his dad's smile was still the slightest bit watery, he didn't say anything about it.

CMCMCM

They got called on a case two days before Spencer's appointment but Hotch had refused to allow him to cancel it just to go along. So that was how Derek ended up waiting not-so-patiently for Spencer to answer his phone the night of the appointment.

It had been difficult for him to concentrate while he and Rossi walked through the victim's home that day. His mind was never far from Spencer and he wished he could have been there for the appointment because he knew how stressed out the younger man was about it. Derek was nervous, too. He hoped that if this turned out to be another disappointment that their marriage had grown strong enough to come out unscathed. He couldn't stand the idea of losing Spencer but he also knew how deeply the previous times had hurt him. Neither of them had been able to handle the feelings of guilt over their lack of success, Spencer especially.

Spencer's tired voice broke him from his reverie. "Hello?" he said around a yawn.

"Hey, babe. Were you sleeping?"

"Yeah, sorry. I dozed off after Danny went to bed. How's the case?"

Derek knew him well enough to know when he was stalling. "That's not what's important right now, Spence."

"Right," Spencer agreed and took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant," he finally blurted out.

Derek smiled. "That's good news…right?"

"Yes," was the only response.

"It doesn't really sound like it," Derek gently probed.

Spencer sighed. "It is good news. It's just…hard to explain."

"Try."

"I guess it just doesn't feel real, yet. I've wanted this for a long time and now that I have it, I'm afraid."

Derek didn't know what to say to that. He understood, and knew that there wasn't anything he could say to make it easier on him.

"Just rest, baby, and I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Okay. I love you, Derek."

CMCMCM

"I forgot to ask you how far along you are," Derek said as they lay in bed. Spencer's head was against his chest, the vanilla cinnamon scent of his shampoo clouding Derek's thoughts.

"11 weeks." He suddenly lifted his head, a smiled slowly spreading his full lips.

Derek brushed a few stray locks behind his ear. "What is it?"He questioned though it didn't actually matter because he was just happy to see the other man smiling.

Spencer shook his head but continued to smile as if he couldn't really control it. "It's just…we're having a baby!"

Laughing happily, Derek tightened his hold. "We are. So, how do you feel about it?"

"Happy", Spencer replied simply before planting a quick kiss on Derek's lips and lying back down.

"Yeah," Derek said, sighing happily and dropping a kiss to the top of Spencer's head. "Me too."

_End._

**Thank you so much for reading. I'd really appreciate some feedback. **_  
_


End file.
